RHONJ Trial: Opening Arguments

Real House-husband of New Jersey Jim Marchese has been purporting he will be hosting the RHONJ Trial tonight and we exclusively have the first part, the opening arguments. What is Jim saying?

Disclaimer: The below does not reflect our opinions or this blog’s opinions, but are verbatim the words of Jim.

“On this day, the 11th of November, at 7:00 PM that the Honorable and Just Prosecutor @jlmarchese111 is putting forth a case against Booby Ciasulli AKA Robert Ciasulli AKA Bob Ciasulli AKA The Fonz for outrageous conduct even by definitions of reality TV. As a jury of viewers has handed down the following “True Bill” of charges for acts within the district of Bravo and the world of #RHONJ. The Charges and allegations are listed within the following counts:

If found guilty by the viewing audience of such offense, Booby will lose his manhood card. He must dress like the Real Housewives and publicly apologize to Amber Marchese.

The evidence will conclusively show that Bobby over a number of years stalked housewives of New Jersey and New York, faked relationships with women, set up other cast members, and portended to be a regular blue collar guy, while in fact he is a Silver Spooner suffering from Parcopresis while confronted with Truth. We are asking viewers to go to #RHONJTrial and vote GUILTY or NOT GUILTY. James L. Marchese, BA, MPA, JD will be presiding as the prosecuting attorney for your viewing pleasure.”

Jim wrapped up this part with, “As the moral fabric, integrity and authenticity of #RHONJ is at stake we ask for your full attention and participation.  Caution: the following material may be offensive to people who find Stalking, bathroom habits or Bullshit as abnormal.”

You’ll have to head over to All About the Tea for the next part.