After an intense double dose of The Bachelorette last week, I’m back and ready to dish on a what appears to be a steamy season! Last week, Bachelor Nation spent four hours to watch two ladies meet 25 studs. To sum it up, Britt was not the chosen one, a loser was sent home for being way too drunk (we’ve seen this in the past so not a shocker), one gentleman excused himself because he was not that into Kaitlin, four other eligible men were sent home roseless, and one stag tried to woo Britt even though she was not picked as America’s Bachelorette this season.
Last season on The Bachelor, Chris was this wholesome sweetheart (who turned into a surprise kiss-a-holic). Now it’s time for Kaitlin to take center stage as The Bachelorette. Her spunky personality and awkward jokes will make a perfect summer season for reality TV. My advice to Katilin after watching this show for many years: learn from those who have been in your shoes in the past. They know the ropes better than anyone else. There must be a Regina George style Burn Book somewhere that Chris Harrison is keeping under lock and key that he can pass on.
Group date number one is a massive fitness challenge because, let’s face it, if you wanna get with Kaitlyn, you gotta have fitness in your plan. Watching the guys duke it out for Kaitlyn’s heart is super hot. It’s probably too soon to say they are passionately fighting for her love. But, this is better than anything on UFC. While the boys are getting beat up, Kaitlyn is questioning herself thinking she just wanted to see some good old fashioned roughhousing. That didn’t happen when one of the guys was injured. Clearly boxing in Converse sneakers and putting a guy who weighs 225 up against a 175 lbs guy is safe (READ: Do not try this at home!) Jared learned from previous Bachelor(ette) contestants and milking the injury to win over Kaitlyn. Ben Z. wins the total knock out and snags the group rose date.
Meanwhile back at the mansion…
Clint gets the one-on-one. Clint begins his one-on-one date with Kaitlyn in a red Mercedes. Sorry you got jipped Kaitlyn…Desiree Hartsock had a powder blue Bentley convertible for her driving enjoyment with her spinsters. After a swanky underwater photo session, Clint has secured his spot in the house.
The second group date makes me think the joke is on the guys who had the boxing group date when date number two is a stand up comedy gig with Amy Schumer. Perhaps the best highlight is the failure of Tony the Healer. Where was the stand-up comedy? I’m pretty sure that was sit down snooze comedy. At least “Cupcake” the dentist made a good attempt. Tony was pathetic. Aside from his crazy makeout session with his plants, I just do not understand why he is still obsessed with Britt. He reminds me of Ashley S. last season. Maybe those two should hook up and be a super awkward couple. Ok…I’ll stop playing matchmaker. This group date rose goes to JJ. Playing the “I have a cute kid” card always works while bringing out the softer side. Remember all the other past residents of the mansion who had children? Milk it for all you’ve got JJ.
Props to this group of guys for letting those who didn’t go on a date get some time with Kaitlyn. This is the first time I have seen the guys agree to being nice. Then comes JJ swooping in to steal Kaitlyn away even though he has a rose. Selfish, douche-bag, aggressive, or asshole?
Perhaps though the final highlight was Kupah’s dramatic exit. I’m really not sure what card he was trying to play, but it was pretty obvious Kaitlyn wanted nothing to do with him after his true colors came through.
Just when we thought Britt was no longer on the show, an unusual development occurred. Brady, the gentleman who voluntarily left because he was on the show for Britt, “randomly” shows up at her hotel. This, however, is no fantasy suite. Both are super vulnerable after leaving the mansion.
Fun fact, did you know that Second Lady of the United States Jill Biden is a tweeter of The Bachelorette? Join me in live tweeting every Monday night!