Jersey Jess Lila

Jersey Jess- Why Must Lila Force Me To Interact With Her? Exclusive

Exclusive Blog!

We are thrilled to have Little Women New York star Jersey Jess blogging the episodes for us each week (read last week’s here). This past week, the fourth (and fifth) episode(s) of the second season aired. Below, Jess gives us her take on the fourth episode- and it’s QUITE a read! See what she had to say below.

Jersey Jess Little Women NY Episode 4 Exclusive Blog

Last week’s episode ended with us getting ready to leave glamping and Jazz, being “concerned,” showed the group a video that she took of Katie taking a drag of a cigarette after belly dancing. The group responds with over-dramatic gasps.

This week’s episode picked back up at that gasping moment where Jason is “disappointed to see that” and Lila “can’t believe what she is seeing” and, using her non-existent medical degree, she declares that smoking must have the baby’s low weigh-ins. They all decide WE MUST DO SOMETHING!

I return from calling Katie and we finally start to head back to the city. I’m completely oblivious to what just happened or that I will be returning to the city for a very overdramatic week. After spending the weekend trapped with people I would gladly feed to the wolves, I just want to go home, take a shower and cuddle with Cheech! Instead, I come home to TWO surprises. I now have TWO roommates (with another on the way) because PJ, Katie’s baby daddy, has decided that since he’s the one who put this baby inside Katie, maybe he should be the one to help her take care of it. Katie takes me aside and explains that she needs PJ and she is too preggers to fly home.

It looks like me and my 2.5 roommates will also be looking for another place because I also learn that we received an eviction notice due to the no pet policy. Awesome.

Lila invites Dawn for coffee so they can talk about their argument at glamping. Lila offers a hug with her hello. Dawn offers her resting bitch face and takes a seat. Lila says she owes Dawn an apology because she didn’t take her whining feelings seriously and forgets she even has feelings since she seems like such a robot (her words, not mine!) Dawn accepts her apology and informs Lila that she and Jazz are buddies, for now, and that when her brother comes into town later this week, she wants to work on their relationship as well.

Dawn goes over to Lila, Jason and Jazz’s place so they can plan the intervention, which will be disguised as a BBQ. Lila takes the lead because she is a pro at these and won’t miss the chance to feel superior on the other side of it. Dawn brings up the fact that she and Katie were friends when they were CHILDREN and she’ll explain that “the person I knew 15 years ago wouldn’t be doing this.” Considering she wasn’t old enough to buy cigarettes 15 years ago or have a child, because she was one herself, I would hope not. Jason is going to assure her that they’re all there for her because she obviously doesn’t have the best support system with me. Jazz isn’t sure how we’ll take this but the important thing is that they feel good about themselves tried. Dawn calls Katie and invites us over the next day for a ‘BBQ.’

Before the “BBQ,” Jason throws a couple of hot dogs on the grill. That way they’re not completely full of shit in regards to our invite. Then, Lila warns the group that the hardest part will be convincing Katie that they actually care and aren’t being judgmental (spoiler alert: mission failed.) Katie and I arrive HUNGRY. We fake “hellos” and Katie tells the group about my new roommate. They politely make small talk while waiting for their moment to pounce. Jazz and Dawn tell Katie they’ve missed her because the last time they saw her was at belly dancing. Such a smooth transition. Jazz then tells us the reason she ‘brought us here’ was to ask Katie a question.

“Are you smoking?”

Katie explains that she takes a drag of my cigarette here and there but is not regularly smoking. Lila explains that Jazz saw her and has just been oh-so-distraught since then. Jazz points out that even if she isn’t smoking regularly, she is around me regularly and I smoke. I can’t even process what’s going on at this point. So many thoughts are going through my head right now. Mainly, “WHERE IS THE FOOD?!?!” Katie explains how she knows it’s bad but it helps with her anxiety and stress. Lila doesn’t think what they are saying is sinking into Katie at all. She’s an alcoholic so SHE KNOWS.

Jazz continues on her crusade to make Katie feel like shit by repeatedly using her soon-to-be daughter’s name, Kinzley. Katie says she is going to fully quit after the baby is born. Dawn rebuts, saying there is no difference between quitting then and now. Katie explains she doesn’t want her baby to smell like smoke. Katie, my love, this is why I do most of the talking. I’m not talking because I’m just in such shock. Lila points out my silence and I point out how ridiculous this set up is.

Now, Katie is cramping and it’s time to go. Lila asks Katie for her non-existent cigarettes and then asks me for mine. No. We get in the elevator and Katie is stressed and says “I just want one drag off your cigarette.” Oh, bananas…

We come home and tell PJ about what happened. The bullshit has set in, the shock has worn off and we are pissed. PJ points out that the baby is healthy and that he and I have her back, so screw them.

The next day, Jason calls to check on me because he’s good peeps like that. Also, his dad is a vet and offers to give Cheech a free checkup since he had an opening. Sweet! Jason asks about Katie “post intervention” and I tell him that she’s not thrilled and it was not cool how they handled that. Jason says they had to because it didn’t seem like I had ever told her to stop. Because you know our friendship, right? Jason makes a joke that Cheech’s cough may be from smoking. Too soon bro, too soon. Cheech gets a clean bill of health and I get an invite from Jason for me, Katie and PJ to go pumpkin picking with everyone. Oh, yay….

Jazz’s husband David gets into town. Jazz is excited because in the three years they’ve been married, this is the first time they’ve been apart. With all the drama that’s been happening, she is exciting to just relax and spend time with her husband. She starts this by explaining all of the drama that’s been happening. Jazz says she won’t bring up smoking at pumpkin picking but feels she should’ve been more aggressive about it because Katie seemed so unaffected. Oops, now you’re REACTING wrong too, Katie!!

On a better note, we get to move into my new, bigger place and Katie gets to sit and watch. I tell her and PJ about going to the vet with Jason and how they apparently thought the intervention was successful and how Jason was shocked when I was basically like “screw you, absolutely not.” They felt they accomplished what they wanted to accomplish which, in my opinion was really just them feeling good about themselves and us leaving there feeling like shit. I tell Katie about the pumpkin picking and we agree to go because we don’t want to give anyone the satisfaction of us missing out on a fun activity.

Everyone arrives at the pumpkin patch. Katie and I are late. In the words of Kanye, “You should be honored by my lateness, that I would even show up to this fake shit.” Everyone meets PJ for the first time but judge him for the 10th time. Katie picks up a pumpkin, which is just the opening Lila was looking for to lay into PJ. How could you LET your pregnant girlfriend pick up a pumpkin?!

Meanwhile, Dawn and David haven’t spoken since the pajama jam. David explains how hard it is for him when her and Jazz don’t get along. Dawn assures him they are getting along now and they should get together at her house and talk. He agrees. This seemingly awkward conversation ends when they notice some mining thing they used to play with as kids. Basically sifting through dirt? I don’t know. I know it lived up to the expression “boring as dirt” though. I was not entertained. Then, Lila makes a joke “PJ, want to see if you can find an engagement ring?” No one laughs. Katie is pissed. I’m bored. We just want to go get lost in the cornfield. Hell, I’d even take oncoming traffic at this point.

Lila claims that, although they JUST MET PJ, she needs to make sure that him being in NY is a good thing. AKA involve herself in something that she should stay out of. Jazz asks about PJ’s employment plans which he says are covered because he “makes music.” Ever heard of him? No? Exactly. Lila asks what makes an 8-month prego woman get on a plane and leave her baby daddy? PJ says at the time that’s what worked for Katie, but now that he’s “crept back in town,” he’s going to be there for her. Lila is not impressed and, while walking away, points out that the peacock reminds her of him. Another joke that no one laughs at.

Lila moves onto her next target– me– and asks if I’m having fun. When I respond with a convincing “hoot and a half” she tells me she doesn’t believe me. Why? Why must you force me to interact with you?! I can’t hold back any more and basically tell her “no shit I’m not having fun,” considering the last time I saw them, they were trying to pass their superiority complex off as concern for Katie. I ask if they really think they handled that situation in the best way possible. Of course they did.

I explain to Jazz that, as a friend, she probably should have taken Katie aside and talked to her and not made a spectacle with the fucktards that are not Katie’s friends. Jazz continues to say there is no argument…smoking while pregnant is bad. She apparently fails to realize that’s is not what I’m arguing. How many times can I say that I’m against the way it was handled?

I point out that there was no reason to go to the extreme of an intervention– and they did not have the right to say Katie’s baby’s name. When Jazz asks why they don’t have that right, I lose it a bit. I loudly explain “BECAUSE YOU DON’T F@$%ING KNOW HER!” Jazz (less loudly) explains that she did that to help get her to stop smoking—in other words, to make her feel like shit to get their point across. DING DING DING!! Guess who was right? Dawn states they were just concerned and they were all on the same page, so sorry not sorry. PJ tries to get a word in, but can’t because Lila shuts him down. Apparently, his opinion doesn’t matter because he LET Katie pick up a pumpkin.

By now, Katie is upset and is starting to yell. An 8-month pregnant chick is stressed out and yelling, so guess what? An 8-month pregnant woman is now cramping. Ironically, as I’m pointing out that she was also cramping after the intervention because of stress, Dawn takes this opportunity to completely ignore me and bring the conversation back to smoking while pregnant. Ugh! I ask Dawn why she thinks her opinion even matters and she claims it’s because her opinion is accurate – and apparently the end all be all. Now we’re the Jesus of motherhood?

I notice Katie has walked away and is sitting down, crying and cramping. Katie doesn’t want to be an inconvenience or cause a scene and suggests we go back to the group. I tell her absolutely not. Jazz tries to come over and check on Katie/continue the bullshit and I tell her to walk away and this is not the time.

Lila hears me tell Jazz to stop so she takes this as her opportunity to do exactly the opposite and get right in our faces to suggest that Katie get medical attention. Or a new group of friends? Katie is getting upset again so I tell Lila to back the f@%k off. Katie is done and just wants to go home.

Tell us- what do YOU think of what Jess had to say about the episode? Sound off in the comments below

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